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lobster virgin

A couple weekends ago, Farmboy had a sale on lobster so my mom decided to treat us to a nice surf n' turf meal. I invited Matt to the dinner and he accepted even though it would be his first lobster experience; a lobster virgin, if you will. This impressed me because trying new food can be intimidating to some, especially when you run the risk of accidentally hitting your girlfriend's parents with a lobster claw.

Fortunately, no one was hit with a lobster claw this time but watching Matt take on the lobster made me more alert to how truly odd lobster-eating is. The different techniques and tools needed to enjoy a full lobster is baffling! My family doesn't eat lobster very often so we only have very modest supplies when it comes to eating lobster.  Besides our very own hands, we had a pair of lobster crackers that we used to help break the hard outer shell. At one point, I was desperate to use a pair of kitchen scissors to help me and, since my mom would not allow "scissors" and "lobster" in the same sentence, I resorted to drop-kicking my lobster into submission. When I wasn't using my pro-wrestling skills, I did try to master the art of the lobster crackers. In theory, it's easy to use this tool. You place the lobster claw in the middle then squeeze to break it. Open to find lobstery goodness. In practice, the lobster crackers are a joke. If you do manage to make a crack, it is usually only a tease and never big enough or in the right place to ever give you a clean, easy break. Another scenario if you make a crack is that what seems like a gallon of water comes gushing out of it. At this one particular dinner, the juices created a perfect arc from the claw to Matt's side of the table. The rest of the time instead of the lobster cracking its slippery surface escapes the crackers and ends up in rather inopportune places. Everytime we have lobster, my parents mention a date they went on to a lobster place where one of my dad's lobster claws ended up on the table of diners next to them. What a romantic evening!

I find it funny that in a society I consider to be relatively proper in terms of eating habits, we have adopted quite an uncharacteristic affinity for lobster. It is (usually) completely unacceptable to use your hands instead of designated utensils, make any sort of noise with your body (i.e. slurping, burping), and even put your elbows on the table (though my parents never enforced this rule because, like me, they don't find elbows all that offensive). How does lobster fit into this etiquette schema?! Okay, don't lick your fingers, don't use your hands to pick up your food... except if it's a red, boiled shellfish then you can practically gnaw the shell off and suck the meat out. Even more, people go out to eat lobster... in public. I'm comfortable eating lobster in front of my parents but they also changed my diapers when I wasn't on solid food (think about it). I would not go to a restaurant that actual people frequent and order a lobster. To me, this sounds like an SNL skit about people making an ass of themselves. 

While we were eating, I began to wonder if anyone can eat lobster gracefully. Then it dawned on me the main point in lobster etiquette is to throw all etiquette out the window. I could tell that my lobster (get it? Friends?) was having a hard time with how uncouth and unattractive dismembering a shellfish for meat is. I also knew that, like my first few experiences with lobster, it's disheartening. I find lobster is a food that grows on you everytime you eat it. My first few times eating lobster I felt like it was way too much work for such little reward. I mean, the whole balancing act of getting the meat is more cardio than I generally get in a weeks time all for a handful or so of meat. I have grown more fond of lobster, though I should end this post by saying that I enjoy crab so much more. And so ends the tale of my boyfriend losing his lobster virginity to me.

end of experimental farm pictures



Proof that cows love denim.



So jealous of Elisa's camera. Here she's rubbing it in my face. Bitch.

The View Isn't Good From Here

Paris Hilton is on The View right now and her skin is blending in with the show's bright orange background. The moral of this story, and I've said this before, is that tanning is not the answer. I should do a PSA on this.

Room Makeover Update

Earlier this month, I wrote about my ongoing room makeover. Unfortunately, from the time when we scoured my room of all its junk (which was back in March, I think) to now not much progress has been done. In that time period, Matt and I both took a necessary break from room cleaning, had exams, and then I had my wisdom teeth removed. Not to mention, I'm a master procrastinator when it comes to cleaning; it's in my genes.

Last weekend, however, I forced myself (more like, Matt forced me to force myself) to clear my room, with Matt's help, of its junk to prepare for painting and ultimately, furniture rearranging. Most of the things we moved I actually am keeping but it was completely necessary to clear my room to fake a clean slate. Once the room is painted and reorganized, I'll figure out where to put all the junk which will undoubtedly convince me to tear what little hair I do have out of their roots. On a lighter note, I haven't seen so much of my carpet since I moved into my room. Still, when I walk into my room, I halt as to not stub my toe or knock over a mountainous pile of books. I'm trying to convince myself to take advantage of the space and exercise, but I'd rather use that time to eat, evidently.

Since the last post on my room, I have a much clearer picture of how I would like my room to look. The walls will be painted a light aquamarine color and the furniture will be completely rearranged. Since the colors of my furniture are all neutral, I'm going to make the room pop with accents, like pillows, pictures, etc. (Elisa has been so excited at the prospect of my redecorating she has already spoiled me with pillow cases, picture holders, etc.!) I don't want to follow a strict color scheme and I'm hoping my room will have an ecclectic vibe - like me! I'm hoping when it's complete my room will be more of a safe haven for me to relax, exercise (ha), blog, and study instead of a place that actually induces stress. My goal is to have my room complete by the end of summer so I'll keep updating on the progress if I can find time away from banging my head against the brick wall that is the Room Makeover.





The cow version of Molly and Quincy.

vista, i'm looking at you

Mysteriously, the volume icon on my taskbar is nowhere to be found. Vista decides to redecorate for me arbitrarily. Thanks for that.

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